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Every so often a game comes along that tempts me to buy a console. This week, naturally, it's Spider-Man, with its web-slinging and web-swinging, that I want so much I can almost taste it, and the fact that you can apparently walk around. I want to play Spider-Man, dammit. I want to do flips and deliver quips and swing through a beautifully realized, puddle-free Manhattan—but I don't own a PS4. It's not a PC snob thing, I just don't want to buy a whole console for just one dang game. So, what's a PC-only gamer to do when he wants to play some Spider-Man today?
Luckily, there are options! Lots of great options that are making me feel so much better about not having a PS4. These options are great, he insisted again, hoping everyone would believe him. Shattered Dimensions, for instance, which The Global Authority On PC Games described as ' in an article last year. That's a ringing endorsement. And it's the only Spider-Man game on Steam, according to our article, which is now a bit out of date because it's not the only Spider-Man game on Steam, and also, it's not actually on Steam anymore.
Activision's license deal with Marvel Entertainment and the game was pulled from sale. So I can't play it. Well, that blows, but what else we got? There's also and, but I don't want to play a fighting game or Lego game. I want to play a Spider-Man game, where I'm Spider-Man.
That leaves me with, though it's usually not a good thing when you're looking for a game but you find an 'experience' instead. Still, I've got a Vive, so I give it a try. It's not so good, really.
While standing in one place for long minutes—Spidey's trademark move—I learn about the different kinds of webs available to me, like a web grenade, web bullets (or something), and the traditional Spider-Man webs that let me grab onto things, like posters, and pull them off the wall. Having redecorated the rooftop a bit, there's some sort of explosion in the city, and the Vulture appears and I swing from a helicopter and then. It ends and tells me to buy the movie. Why did I just spend 10 minutes learning about all these different webshooters for the game to end the second I get a chance to use them? The gif above isn't the entire experience: you can't hear the generic rock soundtrack and you can't see that when I click submit for my high score it opens a entire page of ads. Searching the Windows Store for Spider-Man games brings up a few choices, including a game called Guess The Heroes. It's free so I try it, and it brings up a picture of Storm, so I type Storm—feels like a good guess since it's Storm and all—but nothing happens.
I type it again, and nothing. I finally realize it's a hangman-style game, and you're meant to enter one letter at a time, clicking enter after each. I painstakingly one-letter my way through Thor, Loki, Professor Xavier, Human Torch, Invisible Woman, skip some green dude I don't recognize (it's not Hulk, anyway), get Invisible Woman again, then finally reach Spider-Man.
Just for kicks, I expire all 10 chances by guessing wrong and lose. I definitely do feel like I'm losing. Meanwhile, the itch.io store has a game called. It's a bit of a work in progress, as you can see below, but I sorta swing around while looking through my arms and body and getting webs stuck to things, but never the things I want them to get stuck to. Also, it occasionally prints the world 'hello' along the side of the screen.
Naturally, there are Spider-Man mods, especially for the GTA games. My favorite modder, has, and there are a few as well. Those are always fun, and all it requires is downloading and installing a GTA game and Scripthook and whatever pedestrian model I want for the costume and possibly some version of the Microsoft NET Framework and potentially some audio dll files and OpenIV. You know, I think maybe the problem isn't that I don't have a PS4, it's that I'm extremely lazy. Oh well, no Spider-Man for me today. Enjoy yourself, PS4 players.